We are healing.
For me emotionally, today was better than yesterday, which was better than the day before.
For Anna, whose only goal is to forget about this whole experience, time passing is helping her move on. That scares me, because I need to get her in to talk to someone who knows how to help her deal with this. And to assuage her feelings of guilt. Yes, guilt. She thinks that because it was her idea to ride bikes to the farmers market, it’s her fault that her brother got hit by a car. She also said, “I wish I had been the one hit by the car so my brother’s leg wouldn’t hurt so bad.” Um, you’re five. You’re too young to assume so much responsibility and guilt! So yeah, counseling. Soon.
Our friends came over to visit, and they had this awesome little car. Eric loved getting pushed around on it, so we got out the wagon as well. His little friend Leif was loving pulling him up and down the block.
Eric’s road rash is healing with no infection. His leg is so bruised up and swollen that he won’t walk on it, but his doctor doesn’t think there will be any long-term damage. She sent us over to the fracture clinic at Kaiser, to see if they could come up with something to give him some confidence to try walking. They outfitted him with this awesome leg wrap/brace thing, and the guy there was so funny and awesome, he had the kids laughing.
Eric still won’t try walk, but the wrappy thing keeps the wound protected. I think anything touching it is so painful, he was really getting stressed out. This gives him a little peace. The guy who fitted him with it said it might be this weekend before he feels like walking, and that’s ok. It’s such a relief to know that it’s going to be ok, and I just need to let him heal.
I rode my bike to work today, because I don’t want to be afraid to ride, and because it’s the Bike Commute Challenge, and because it’s good exercise. But I was freaked out riding in to work, and had an actual anxiety attack before riding home. I usually ride down the side of Hwy 26, which is a fast, exhilarating rocket ride down the hill. I just couldn’t do it, though — I was too worried about crashing and being covered in road rash. Thankfully, MAX was there for me so I rode it most of the way home. I only have to go to the Metro Regional Center tomorrow, and it’s only about 4 miles away so I think it will be a better “getting my feet wet” ride than all the way to the zoo and back.
We’re making progress, slowly but surely!